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What software did you use to design this piece of shit?
Something called KompoZer, which I found free on the web. I’m going to invest in something better soon, I promise.

Why didn’t you use Wordpress like Jamie told you to? 
Because 123-reg hosting doesn’t allow database systems on its servers. Or something. I don’t know. I really wish I had, though.

So why did you choose 123-reg?
Because I bought the domain names through 123, because Wilco recommended them. So basically it’s his fault.

Can you ride a motorcycle?

What’s your favourite dinosaur?
Easy. The archaeopteryx.

Do you draw the cartoons with a helmet stick?

With a crayon in your mouth?

Are you quadriplegic?
For fuck’s sake, no. I use a mouse, and MS Paint. The cartoons would be better if I could be bothered to invest in a drawing tablet, or learn to use Illustrator, but I can’t be arsed.

Has anyone actually asked any of these so-called ‘frequently asked questions’?
No. I only put them here out of slavish adherence to web convention, and because I thought it made it look more impressive than it actually is.

What are you wearing?
What? Some trousers and a t-shirt… oh this is getting ridiculous.


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